Dreams and Nightmares

I've always been a very vivid dreamer. As a kid I had a reoccurring dream about not being able to find my brother and sister and another about riding a bike that flies. My most strange dreams are the ones where no matter what was going on in the dream, I'd be observing while sitting on the toilet with my pants down trying to get the job done. I continued to have those dreams almost every night well in to adulthood and actually only stopped in the last couple of years. I've done lots of research trying to figure out what that one means but the toilet dream doesn't seem to be in any dream dictionary that I've found.

Anyway, that brings me to my newest dream trend. Lately, I've been dreaming about Oliver dying. I've had three so far, about once every couple of weeks and each one is worse than the last. I actually don't remember the circumstances of the first one, just the feeling it left me with. The second had him being run over by the police truck driven by one of the other members. In the most recent one he was sick with something and was going to die and he was talking about committing suicide so he didn't have to go through it. I was screaming and crying that we had so little time left with him and I didn't want him to cheat us out of that time. With that I woke up and was literally sobbing in my sleep.

As you can imagine these dreams are really disturbing to me. I'm not a doom and gloom type of person or a paranoid mom so worrying about losing my kids is something that never crosses my mind. I guess I have a 'things like that don't happen to me' type of attitude so I'm shocked that my subconscious is thinking about it.

There is a part of me that keeps wondering if this is an omen of some sort but since dreams are never about the obvious, I don't think that's it. When I really analyze it I think that my brain is trying to tell me to appreciate Oliver more. I'll admit I'm struggling a bit with all the frustrations that go along with being the mom of a two year old. I'm sure he's a normal kid and he's just doing what two year olds do but I'm not always handling it well. I think I'm feeling guilty about how I treat him sometimes and it's manifesting in my dreams. When he's doing his best job at challenging me I can have a hard time keeping a lid on my emotions. I tend to yell more than I should and sometimes I say things that makes me cringe afterwords. It's easy to think that it's ok because he's young and he doesn't understand but I can see that even if he doesn't get the words, the tone makes an impression. It's true, sometimes he deserves the tone but sometimes my lack of patience is the reason he hears it and that's not fair.

In the last couple of days I've been trying to do better. When my temper starts to bubble I just think about how those dreams felt and it makes it much easier to cool off. I'm hugging a little more, saying I love you more often and trying to have a more zen outlook on motherhood. The nature of a two year old is to be frustrating much of the time but I don't want to have those types of regrets should the worst happen. And not being so angry makes day-to-day life much nicer.

By the way: I figured before I published this I should maybe do some dream research and I have found some websites that say I'm right on the money. Now if only I could find something about that toilet thing....


 

And then there was one

If you are a long time reader you may know right away what this photo means.

If you're not, this should clarify things for you.

On July 26th, 2009  we opened our sea lift crate and instead of the 12 cans of corn I thought we ordered, we found 12 CASES of 12 cans of corn. It's taken us 21 months of eating it, giving it away and selling some more to get to the very last can.

Good riddance? Believe it or not we're not sick of it. It's one of the few veggies I can get my boys to eat so I stay with what's easy. I actually bought some at the Northern today.

I Hear Easter Eggs

It's early easter morning. Oliver is searching the house for loot.

Oliver: Mommy Shhhhhhhhh. I can hear the eggs.
Me: Really? What are they saying Oliver?
Oliver: Eat it! Eat it! Eat it!

Then he laughs like a crazy person.....?!?

Happy Easter everyone!

Easter Crafts- Day 4

Well, this is it, the last day. The only thing missing was the Easter Basket so we made one. However, it was pretty much a mommy made craft since I covered the bread basked with the tissue paper, fashioned the handle from a piece of plastic and punched out the flowers. I tried to get O to glue the flowers on with me but he lost interest quickly and just wanted to color the eggs again.

I hope he's more enthused tomorrow morning when the basket is used to gather all the loot the bunny leaves behind. Happy Easter everyone!

Easter Crafts- Day 3

I was a little nervous about today's craft because I wasn't sure if a two year old and real eggs were a good combination. My original plan was to poke the ends and blow the eggs out before decorating them but my mother suggested hard boiling them. Mmm, I see she's done this with a two year old before.

After they were boiled I soaked them in food coloring to dye the shell and then we decorated them with markers. I was really happy with my egg but O decided it needed more so he went ahead and added his personal touch to it. In the end they are all masterpieces and are now in the fridge so they don't go bad. They are going in to a potato salad at some point this weekend.

Oh... and my fear of having a toddler handle real eggs? Well, only one got cracked, and guess who dropped it?

ME! 

Easter Crafts- Day 2

Today we made bunny ears (thanks Susan for the idea). Things went much smoother since there were no sparkles involved. I heard all of you who commented on yesterday's post, I'm now putting a moratorium on sparkles till he's much older.

Anyway, O loved the ears and hopped around all day long. He's starting to get excited for the chocolate treats the bunny will be bringing him.

Easter Crafts- Day 1

In order to get O ready for The Easter Bunny I'm doing a craft with him every day. It's a challenge since he has the attention span of a gnat. All he wanted to do was dump the sprinkles everywhere which he ended up accomplishing since I gave up trying to give him direction.

Tomorrow: Bunny ears. 

Lash Envy

Every time I saw those commercials on TV for Latisse I thought it was the most ridiculous thing I'd ever heard. I'd always been unhappy with my eye lashes but it seemed like an extreme measure to use drugs to fix them. Then I had Oliver and now I think I'm willing to do just about anything to compete. I'm green every time he bats those long feathery lashes my way. I'd kill to put mascara on them just once... However, I know that's wrong :)

It's just not fair!

Amauti frustrations

You'd think that after 2 babies I would have learned how to get one in to an amauti. I've received advice on different techniques and I've tried them all. Yet, I still just can't do it. I took this picture today after a 15 minute work out with Isaac screaming and pulling my hair (which started out in a ponytail). And you'll also notice he's not even in properly. 

Today was an unusually rough attempt I must admit, however even when I have better luck he ends up in there in some sideways fashion. Then I'll stop at the detachment to get Nick to readjust before I can go anywhere. So frustrating!

Mouse?

Since there are no mice here I have to assume something else lined up these mini muffins and nibbled a bit out of each one.

Hmmm, it seems I've found the culprit... with the evidence in hand. Little Bugger! 

New Toy

A good friend once told me that the key to a good marriage was separate computers....

I may have mentioned that Nick has found a new obsession in the form of World of Warcraft which has caused much havoc on my usual computer usage. I'd been angling for a new one for a while now so I cried hardship and begged a little. I played the 'you're hogging it card' and I finally got him to agree that it was time to get me one of my own. It's nothing fancy but it's all mine. Maybe I'll be a more frequent blogger now? I wouldn't hold my breath :)

T Bone

Last night for supper we tried to make it feel more like spring by breaking out the barbeque. T-bones, baked potatoes with all the fixin's, corn.... the only thing missing was a back yard and a cold beer. Tank enjoyed the meal too since the steaks were huge and there was lots of left overs. Not to mention the bones.

The Power of Please

Please.... Please is a word that has become elusive around this house. From very early on Oliver mastered the art of please and thank you which was awesome for obvious reasons and very adorable. In the last couple of months he has to be reminded more and more often that he hasn't said the magic word and won't be getting his request fulfilled till he does.

The technique I try most often is ignoring his request and then finally making a big deal out of the please when it comes. However, with an easy going kid like O that doesn't always get the point across. Half the time he just moves on to something else when I ignore him and I feel like he's getting a negative 'Mommy doesn't care' message rather than getting the point I'm trying to make. I know that he's only 2 and maybe assuming he'll get the point is to large an expectation.

The really funny thing is, when I do remind him, he makes a big spectacle of it by pleading over and over for the item. Please, please, please... PUH LEEEEESE!!! He's such a smart ass... he's just like his father.

On a positive note, the thank you's are firmly in place. When ever we're out he'll thank someone for opening a door for us, or will thank the cashier at the Northern when we're done checking out. It's very cute and I'm glad I'm not fighting battles on both sides of politeness.

Blog Renos

I've been bored lately with old look. That applies to my house, my closet, my hair and my blog. Since the blog is the only one I can do anything about I went ahead and changed it up. Not sure if I'm loving the yellow but I haven't found anything I like better so there it is... for now.

ACTUALLY... I guess I did try something new in the living room in the last few days but it's not really practical. Oliver is loving it however so we will work around it for a while.

Food games - Isaac's edition

The name of the game: Dodge the lizard. 

I get to play every time I feed Isaac now that he's on solid food. The game begins when he sees his bowl and that lizard tongue of his starts darting in and out of his mouth in anticipation. I spend most of the meal timing the bites so the food goes up and over it towards the back. Even with strategic placement the darting tongue works much of the food back out and down his bib. I've read he's supposed to loose that reflex at some point and that until he does he's really not ready for solids. Tell that to the baby who screams his head off when I stop shoving carrots into his gob.

Conversations with a 2 year old

Oliver: Hi Mommy!
Me: Hi Oliver!
O: What are you doing Mommy?
Me: Feeding Isaac Oliver.... (or whatever action I'm doing)

Oliver: Hi Mommy!
Me: Hi Oliver!
O: What are you doing Mommy?
Me: Feeding Isaac Oliver.... (or whatever action I'm doing)

Oliver: Hi Mommy!
Me: Hi Oliver!
O: What are you doing Mommy?
Me: Feeding Isaac Oliver.... (or whatever action I'm doing)

Oliver: Hi Mommy!
Me: Hi Oliver!
O: What are you doing Mommy?
Me: Feeding Isaac Oliver.... (or whatever action I'm doing, most likely the same one I was doing 2 seconds ago when he asked)

And repeat.... and repeat..... and repeat 879 more times a day. I may loose my sanity but Oliver will be sure of what I'm doing at all times.

The Boys Are Back

In less than an hour my life will be consumed with men. Men in blue, men in black, men in white..... sometimes they will wear red hats. The Toronto Blue Jays season opener is tonight and from this day till the end of September (October is wishful thinking I think) the dominantly male household that I live in will be consumed with talk of those men. While I won't say I enjoy the game I will say I've come to appreciate the art of it. The strategy is interesting and the stats... well they amaze me every time with the speed that they can tell me that it was 1972 last time someone hit a home run, while the first basemen had on long socks while the bat boy took a break to get a hot dog. Why they keep all this information is beyond me but it's been going on for over one hundred years.

The boys in our house are excited. Good luck to my boyfriends Jose and Travis. And Happy Opening Day to all the Jays fans out there.