Oliver comes running in from outside yelling that he had a poop in his underwear. He loudly explains that he tried to get to the bathroom but just wasn't quick enough, quoting verbatim from his favorite episode of Bear in the Big Blue House. I took him in to the bathroom, assessing the situation. Got his pants off. Yup, it was a big poop in his underwear. Yes Oliver, it's ok, accidents happen to everyone. Yes, you can try to get there faster the next time. No, could you please stop shaking your bum. Why? Because I don't want the poop to fall out down your leg.
I get the underwear off successfully. I dump the loose contents down the toilet. But now what? He's standing there covered in poop, and I'm holding poop covered underwear. Yay! A trash pail with a brand new plastic bag. I drop the underwear in. Bad move. SPLAT! Poop flies on the wall, on the toilet and on my face. So gross.
I deal with the splatter. Now, I need to get him cleaned up. Oliver, I'm going to put you in the shower and hose you off. Hang on while I warm up the water. The hand shower is a good choice for this. I have to push the button to turn it on. Wow, button is stuck, I can't get it to go. Push, try with both hands..... CRACK!!!!! Shower head comes crashing down. OH CRAP!! I broke the shower head! Dad's going to kill me.
Blood. Blood. Where is it coming from? Look, look, look... My finger. No, my fingers. I grab for tissues. It's bad and there is alot of blood. Tissues are sticking to the wetness. No Oliver! Don't sit on that. You're covered in poop! I need to deal with my fingers. What happened mommy? I cut myself, I'm ok. I laugh. See what happens when you don't make it to the bathroom? I laugh... I can't help it. I can't clean him with my fingers hemorrhaging. I'm admitting defeat. I'm so thankful I'm at my moms. I call.... MOM!! I need help.
Mommy to the rescue. My dad is there to deal with my fingers, mom takes O upstairs and gets him cleaned up. By the time I stop bleeding she has the underwear cleaned up, the bathroom back in shape. Dad forgives me for breaking the shower head since it was plastic and it was bound to happen at some point.
The rest of the evening I smell poop in my nose. Pretty sure I cleaned it off but yet the smell is strong. I sure hope there isn't some in my hair or something. I can't see it but it has to be somewhere.
Funny how one event can snowball in to a whole disaster....
My fingers are fine but I do have a good slice.
The poop smell is gone.