Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Weighing In

When I read the latest post from 'The Help' over at  A Slice Of Deep Fried Awesome the first thing I thought was that I could have written that post. I have been a fat girl for most of my adult life and even though I know I should have made the changes years ago, I think I've always been in denial. I always joke that I have a reverse eating disorder: People with anorexia look in the mirror and see a themselves as fat when they are way too skinny. I look in the mirror and think it's not that bad when clearly, it's bad. It's mostly when I look at pictures of myself that I really understand what I've become. And when I walk up the stairs, when I bend over, when I feel my gut sitting on my legs when I sit down....

The last couple of months before I went on vacation in July I had started going to the gym and spending some quality time with the treadmill. I dutifully brought my gym clothes to New Brunswick saying that I would continue but of course, I didn't. I was very busy and active however so I managed not to gain any weight even though I was eating like I was on vacation. I kept telling myself that when I got back I would finally make a change. I just couldn't be in denial any longer. Luckily, Nick also made the same decision for himself, without my saying anything. I am pleased to announce that we are both on day two of our respective diets. The day two update is: I'm starving. But I'm committed so I'm going to suffer through. Maybe I'll go and eat a big bag of mini carrots to get me through to supper.

The irony of dieting for me is that these healthy changes means plan, plan, plan. All that planning means that I'm constantly thinking about food. How many points are in that? What foods can I eat the most of for the least amount of damage? What am I going to make Nick for dinner? Since he's doing a different plan we are eating completely opposite things. And then what do I feed the kids? Isaac is still eating baby style foods so there is alot of preparation required for him too. There is also the added difficulty of living in the north were fresh meat and veggies are sometimes hard to come by.

All of this are just excuses in the end because if I really want it, I'll make it happen. I have set a not so lofty goal of losing 5% of my total weight to start out but haven't set a time frame for it to happen. Once I get there, I'll work on another 5%. My ultimate goal is somewhere in the ballpark of 70 pounds but that number is just too daunting at the moment. Smaller goals mean more successes (hopefully) and success means staying motivated.

Just like The Help, I'm not going to make the blog a platform for my diet. I am however choosing to make a public announcement about my intentions in the hope that you all might keep me accountable. Even if it's only in head. Weight loss for me is mostly a mental game and I can use all the help I can get.


Sarah said...

when I read "the help's" blog, and yours... I can relate... and am thinking of jumping on that 'healthy living+ exercise' wagon... let me know if you want to go for a hike/walk sometime! :) Sarah

Anonymous said...

You're not alone Morena ... I'm on week two of the "no (er very very limited) processed food / no junk food" diet plan ... and so far so good ... but a lot of what I've noticed, it's not so much what I'm eating but how much I'm eating. Printing out the Canada Food guide and sticking to it's recommended daily servings (I've pegged the middle serving recommendation for most things, but have maxed out the protein and dairy)

Megan said...

You can do it! I'm down 65 pounds. Everyone is different, but calorie counting is what worked for me. I found comfort in the numbers and the science. Knowing it was all math really helped.

Dave H said...

I can comepletly relate. I always thought the weight wasn't that bad, I would get to losing it. Recently the doctor put me on meds for type2 diabetes. I should have got to it sooner. I'm trying to do the reduced carbs thing now, wow is that hard. Doesn't leave much to eat. Keep it up,


Morena said...

Thanks for the encouragement guys. Day three is almost done and I'm going strong! I know I have 2 beautiful kids to live a long life for and really want this to happen this time. I'm following Weight Watchers which has worked for me before... if only I had kept it off.

Megan! 65lbs!! WOw, that's amazing. Good for you.

Matt, Kara, Hunter and Cavan said...

I had read that post too and like you could totally relate!

I am looking forward to the blog and message updates from you.