Saturday, June 12, 2010
Is The Honeymoon Over?
I really hate complainers. Things can't be that bad, do something about it or just shut up already. I think I need to take my own advice because I'm becoming one of those hated people. I can see it happening like I'm watching myself from outside my body.... Do I need a reality check? Do I just need to suck it up? Is my honeymoon with the north over?
As you know I've had a few complaints of late with the state of health care in Nunavut. I also have complaints I haven't talked about involving Nick's work, the airlines, the mail system, our housing....Yesterday, I went to get my drivers license switched to show our Pang address instead of the Dorset address and was told it could be up to a year to get the new one. In the meantime they were going to keep the old card in exchange for a printer receipt that doesn't have a license number or anything official to show that it's more than something I kept from my last trip to Walmart. Since I'll be heading down south in a few weeks and will be renting a car and driving on highways, I didn't think giving up my real license was a good idea. So I cancelled the request and will probably just keep the Dorset address for the duration of our life in the territory.
So yet again, I'm complaining about how inefficient things are up here. Yet again I'm whining about things I thought I accepted as part of choosing to live here. I have secretly (and not so secretly) chastised people in the last couple of years for these types of complaints knowing these types of things are just part of the northern lifestyle. So why has my attitude changed?
Is it possible that how I feel is a normal progression? Kind of like the 5 stages of grief, is there an attitude curve of sorts for northern living. First you find the differences shocking but you quickly move on to feeling the inefficiencies add to the charm of the slower pace of your new life. Next, your ability to not freak out becomes kind of a badge of honor that you show off to newcomers who are still feeling things out. Then you move on to the stage that I'm in where you're just at the end of your tolerance level and are just annoyed with everything. Finally you come to the bliss of a long time resident where it's just normal to you to have to give blood 2 or 3 times for the same test because it never made it to Iqaluit for evaluation. It doesn't bother you, it just IS.
There are so many things that I love about living here and am thankful for the opportunities that the slower pace allows but sometimes my anger just gets the better of me. I'm going to make a better effort to stay positive and try and remember the good when the bad rears it's ugly head. I still have at least two years to live here and I don't want it to be a mental hardship. By nature I'm a positive person, up for anything and easy going. I don't want her to be lost in this chronic complainer that has emerged. I strive to find that last stage in order to maintain my sanity.